Saturday, October 01, 2011

"I've arrived..."

That's what my dad told me this morning after a leisurely Skype call I placed from my iPhone (great app that Skype!) to Israel - Netanya to be exact, where he lives. To be sure, I have a few woes. My 80 years young mother has cancer - again. My younger sister was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer - doesn't smoke. I can't shake a cold after 10 days made worse hanging out in the emergency room when my mom was rushed 911 style to ER yesterday due to a seizure caused by a mixture of coumadin and an over-the-counter sinus congestion nasal inhaler. (She is stabilized and doing remarkable well.) Oh, and my dad is about to go in for a heart procedure. Please, allow me to stop there.

So I'm musing with my dad. "Despite all I have going on with my personal life, I feel good. I am happy. Most of all, I feel peaceful. How could that be?" Without skipping a beat, he says, "Sounds like you've arrived." And you know what? I got what he meant. I  reached my destination. Me. Surely, it's been a bumpy ride and I don't pretend that this arrival marks the end of the road; it simply validates the work, the process, the integrity in which I strive to live, albeit at times messily - the continuous search for authenticity - now realized. A sense of being at home with myself, living according to what matters to me, honestly, heartfully, gratefully.

Deep sigh.

Consider this a love letter to my dad. Thanks Dad. Happy New Year.


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